My first official blog. Where do I even begin? Well, today is the day after the 2017 Total Eclipse and fortunately, I didn't hear of any news of anyone going blind (You know there were those looking on purpose...)
I suppose I could start with my purpose and reasoning behind venturing forth and writing, particularly in a blog in front of *gasp* people. It's pretty simple - I just need to write. I used to be one of those kids who burned her way through a dozen journals before I turned 14, carefully cataloging every detail of my tween life. Every crush, every emotion, every little hand touch or simple peck. I have kept most of those journals and when I reread them, I can't help but relive every single moment I wrote. I actually get a little forlorn or heartsick over the days when life seemed much more simple, but for me was actually complicated and hard. For me. Everyone else seemed to do fine, but my struggle with depression or feelings of inadequacy created some massive insecurity that I have carried far into my adult life.
I had what people would look at as a "great childhood" and I really did. I grew up with a mom and dad who loved the Lord and were faithful to take us to Church diligently as we grew. We attended bible camps and worship services, concerts and bible studies. I knew the rules of right and wrong, I knew the sins that were forgiven when repentance was made in prayer and supplication. We lived a couple acres North of my paternal grandparents. My maternal grandparents were always within a 10-minute radius of us. I had aunts, uncles, and cousins all within that same 10-minute radius. We were a tight-knit family that really loved and cared for one another. But I'll leave those stories for future posts.
I'm writing, rather starting today, because it dawned on me a couple of days ago that I have 8 months before my 40th birthday. I can hear all of the older ones saying I'm so young still and yet the young ones are thinking "how old!" But for the first time in my life, I'm ready for some changes. Changes that will challenge me to my core.
See, about one year ago, I purchased a food truck. I planned to convert this truck into my dream. It took much longer than I anticipated, but we finally opened this year on April 5th. So, I have been operating just over 5 months now and realize I have so many more dreams and things to do in front of me that I'd like to record; so that someday I may look back fondly during this time just as I did as a young girl and see how far I've come. I'm not a naturally selfish individual but I am finding the need to complete some very important aspirations still burning deep within me. And the biggest challenge? Finding them alone - with a purpose that only I understand. And instead of feeling guilty or feeling like I shouldn't do this, I am forging forward with a clear understanding of inner motivation and determination. It's like my own personal conquest. And I shall conquer.... Until next time.
